What up, punks???????  Time to fan the flames of mediocrity for another year of pointless rambling!!!!!!!

Seriously though, 2017 is already off to a great start.  I’ve only broken one of my dishes.  I’ve read a book that has been on my list basically since its publication (Hannibal Rising, and it only took me an actual decade to get started) and I’ve eaten roughly 3/4 of a kilogram of brie in addition to various other fancy cheeses left over from our quiet New Year’s celebration.  There’s still an oppressive half pound of cheese sitting in the fridge that mocks me every time I open the door looking for more wholesome, less caloric items like lettuce or maybe water.  Aren’t you going to eat me, fattycakes?  You know you want to.

But 2016 wasn’t a total loss either, despite everyone on Facebook constantly complaining about it.  I lost some weight, and by May 2016 I was down 45 lbs from my weight in spring 2015.  I started running (!!!) and even ran a 5K without dying.  I came in third last, which is good enough for me — I even beat my ister-in-law in the race, and since then my time has gotten a lot better.  I also started roller skating, with the intent of someday benchmarking and playing roller derby on Prince Rupert’s fledgling team.  I hurt my back a few more times but then I did some physio and fixed most of the things I was doing wrong.  I started playing Ingress, which is sort of lame, but at least it gets me out of the house more than any of my other dumb hobbies.  I did not participate in National Novel Writing Month, although I had intended to, as I was working on a career-related course through November and had no time.  But I did get a new computer, and bought a bunch of books, and worked on my house, and I did do a FUCKTON of non-Stephen King reading which is always an important life goal.

I do have some resolutions which I can summarize with the statement “stop being dumb and lame”.  Said resolutions basically entail spending more time on skills I want to improve on, instead of drinking alone with my cat and looking at YouTube videos every evening.  Some of these skills are things I think I can improve on with only a few minutes a day of dedicated practice.  For example, I was taking some art classes at a local studio in 2015, but the studio unfortunately shut down in early 2016.  I had vowed to continue sketching and painting on my own in 2016 using the skills I’ve learned and the art supplies I’ve amassed… then didn’t, for a whole year, and the supplies are all just gathering dust in my spare room.  Same with writing — other than a couple articles and random attempts at jotting down ideas and paragraphs, I haven’t finished anything or really started anything.  AND my husband and I both now own guitars but I haven’t been practicing as much as I should.  My husband isn’t impressed about my lack of practicing, and constantly threatens to kick me out of our hypothetical metal band — tentatively called Childbarf — but even the threats haven’t been enough to inspire action.

I also resolved to drastically cut down on the amount of alcohol I’ve been drinking, going from several bottles of wine per week to maybe one a month or less.  Alcohol doesn’t improve my life in any measurable way.  It makes me look old as shit (even though I already am), disturbs my sleep, eradicates any caloric deficit I create through exercise, tires me out, and causes me to waste time and money for no good reason.  Like the time I was shopping online after a bottle of wine or two and bought a black shower curtain with a stylized picture of the crucifixion on it.  I was mildly surprised when it arrived from the US two weeks later as I didn’t even remember buying it.  I also immediately identified two problems with the purchase — one, black shower curtains/religious imagery doesn’t really go with my tastefully inoffensive basic-bitch bathroom decor, and two, I have a shower stall so there’s no place to even hang a shower curtain.  Said shower curtain has been sitting on the bathroom shelf in its original packaging for the past year as I have no idea what to do with it.  Thanks, wine.

As part of my plan to put my resolutions into action, I spent today going through this blog and putting snippets of writing together, and have resolved to write for 20 minutes before going to bed.  I’ve also put together some images that I find ~*~inspiring~*~ and will bust out the sketchpad tomorrow, shortly after I spend a few minutes practicing chords.  I feel like these are all very immature goals, better suited to 16-year-old Alyssa had she had her shit together in any sense.  But honestly, it all leads back to providing structure for my life and challenging my mind and body with new skills while also spending time on things that aren’t passive or destructive.  And it makes me feel better about myself to pursue things I’ve always wanted to get better at, instead of spending too much time of Facebook meme pages debating post-ironic doggo images with teenagers and then crying softly into my wine glass about what my life has become.

So, yeah.  2017.  Shit’s happening.


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