On November 11 of this year, my husband and I were waiting in Vancouver International Airport’s domestic terminal, and I was trying to write a blog post.  My husband and I had both just bought brand-new smartphones, and I was struggling to learn how to use mine.  Since I spent the past five years living ion a place without cell phone service, there was no point in me ever owning a cell phone.  Now, I find myself struggling to catch up with today’s technology.

I had decided to write a blog post in the airport, since I had just recently downloaded the WordPress mobile app.  I was on fire with the desire to write, but I didn’t have my laptop with me, and started to wonder if I could write a novel on my phone.  Then I googled it (on my phone) and discovered that someone actually HAS written a novel on an iPhone.  Amazing!  So I started to blog about it.  The gist of it is that if some guy can write an entire novel on his iPhone, and jump through all sorts of complicated hoops to make it happen, there’s no reason why you or I can’t carve out some time every day to write our own novels.

Then, I realized I couldn’t for the life of me figure out how to actually POST THE GODDAMN ESSAY I HAD JUST SPENT LIKE 75 MINUTES PAINSTAKINGLY TRYING TO WRITE.

To understand how painful that is for me, you need to understand that I haven’t yet learned to write on a phone like a normal 21st century person.  I don’t use my thumbs to text.  Instead, I squint at the screen and use my index finger to “hunt and peck”.  That’s why it takes a legit three minutes to send “lol”.

Then we had to get on the plane, so I gave up, and since then have felt a surge of petulant angst whenever I look at my phone and see that asshole WordPress icon staring me in the face.


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